The horrible, horrible face of depression
2010-03-08 / 09:33 / dave
Via Lifehacker which links to the New York Time’s article on Depression’s Upsides
Author Archive
2010-03-08 / 09:33 / dave
Via Lifehacker which links to the New York Time’s article on Depression’s Upsides
2010-03-02 / 19:07 / dave
I didn’t do anything big for my 30th birthday with the rational that I would wait for my 25‘th birthday. Then I thought “this year I’m turning python -c 'print 0b11111'! That deserves some sort of nerd celebration!”
Then I got sick.
It didn’t stop me from having a nice dinner & some bluegrass party times on Friday night. Then Saturday I had breakfast, conned my friend into taking me to the Co-op and Trader Joe’s, and then had 18 hours of uninterrupted fevered dreams. Sunday I sat around drinking hot water to try to loosen the massive blockage in my lungs. I also did all the work I was supposed to do Saturday.
Some more anecdotes, told as a pithy definition list:
Now I’m mostly better except that I keep spitting up masses of dead, bloated T-cell and have trouble breathing when I ride my bike.
My birthday has been postponed until next weekend.
2010-02-21 / 22:05 / dave
The 442nd is commonly reported to have suffered a casualty rate of 314 percent, informally derived from 9,486 Purple Hearts divided by some 3,000 original in-theater personnel. U.S. Army battle reports show the official casualty rate, combining KIA (killed) with MIA (missing) and WIA (wounded and removed from action) totals, is 93%, still uncommonly high. Many of the Purple Hearts were awarded during the campaign in the Vosges Mountains and some of the wounded were soldiers who were victims of trenchfoot. But many victims of trenchfoot were forced by superiors—or willingly chose—to return to the front even though they were classified as “wounded in action”. Wounded soldiers would often escape from hospitals to return to the front line battles.[citation needed]
2010-02-14 / 22:27 / dave
2009-11-18 / 22:10 / dave
…remixes and covers are pretty good too.
Carl Bradney – Slipping into Darkness (buy)
Nicolas Jaar – Billy Jean (Nico’s Rework)
Shinehead – Billy Jean (buy)
Snares – Electric Funeral (buy)
2009-11-18 / 07:45 / dave
Edits, unlike remixes, reveal the underlying majesty of the original work. They make it alright to indulge in guilty pleasures.
Fleetwood Mac – Dreams (Soul Clap Edit) (buy on mp3 or vinyl; and I recommend you do because the edit of “Wicked Game” is similarly amazing)
The Bee Gees – Love You Inside Out (Cole Medina’s Col Loves Your Insides Out Edit) (buy; and yes, the edit of Olivia Newton-John’s “Magic” is also really really good)
2009-11-13 / 15:25 / dave
The last time SALEM graced these pages it was for a mix of several styles, many of them not hip-hop. But the south is powerful within them and it leaks out as heavy sludge:
Gucci Mane – Round One (SALEM Remix)
SALEM – Trapdoor
Meanwhile Busdriver has been here for years.
Busdriver – Least Favorite Rapper (Anti-Pop Consortium Remix)
2009-11-08 / 15:59 / dave
Last year for his birthday my dad asked everyone for mixtapes. I tried putting one together in Audacity. It was a lesson in software crashes, followed by a lesson in awkward pauses during track changes.
Fed up I sent it off then didn’t listen to it until two weeks ago while driving 1200 miles over 5 days. Despite the flaws, it’s a decent driving mix. It’s also a nice picture of what I was listening to a year ago; plus I managed to sneak a Megaman sound effect in there somewhere. Happy hunting!
I had originally planned to go more funk/dance hall, here’s the tracklist from the outtakes CD (listed alphabetically):
2009-10-28 / 11:08 / dave
Alien veggies via the CSA

What happens when a runner’s stride frequency is the same as a camera’s frame rate?

2009-10-19 / 03:32 / dave
The client is thirty-six years old and lives alone since his wife left him three weeks ago. She took the kids and all the kitchenware except for a large knife and a bowl and a coffee cup. The client admits her leaving may have had something to do with the fact that, without warning, he completely gutted the house. Tore out all the walls and ceilings, all the lath and plaster, right down to the studs. He says he did this in order to live like a primitive. When asked if it was successful, he says, “It was a step in the right direction.”
The client is a thirty-six-year-old male who lives alone since his wife and children left him over two months ago. He says there’s a darkness that separates him from other people, a heavy darkness, like looking at a person from the bottom of a well. He believes that if he could say the right words, then the darkness would go away. He says he sometimes knows the right words but can’t say them. Other times he can’t even think of what words to say. He has a very flat affect, speaks only when he is forced to reply, and these words he mumbles almost incoherently. His house has no electricity, he has yet to clean up the lath and plaster debris on the floor, and the window frames have no glass in them. He says, “I feel like I’m living on a meteorite.”
The client is thirty-six years old and lives alone since his wife and children left him three months ago. Last week he went fishing in the San Juan Mountains and now believes that there is no better fisherman than himself. He says, “I can’t tell you about it, because talking about fishing is silly. All I can say is I walk around in the water, and I know the instant the fish will jump for the fly. I cut open their stomachs and squeeze out the bugs in my hand, study what they eat, how it all gets digested, even the exoskeleton and wings.” He says he was sick before, but now he’s okay, and that it was the fly rod, just holding the rod in his hand, that cured him. His house is clean, the electricity is on, the walls have been Sheetrocked and painted white.
He says. “I’ll have to ask her, beg her, and maybe she’ll come back.”
Scott Carrier, Running After Antelope
Scott Carrier produces some of my favorite This American Life segments. There’s an eerie darkness to his stories that reminds me of Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy’s songs about depression and break-ups.
This American Life – #80: Running With Antelope (buy)
This American Life – #181: The Friendly Man (buy)
2009-10-14 / 17:25 / dave
Success comes with a price, in this case a calcaneus stress-fracture. Ex-runner Mark, in reference to my then-upcoming MRI, warned that my cycling fitness was probably working against me: my cardio & legs were more prepared than my dainty skeleton. My 5 year old New Balance kicks probably weren’t helping, especially since last year I half melted the soles while drying them in a fire. Hiking ruins everything.
Since I don’t have any pain while walking or biking I dodged having to use crutches, which is good since I hear that cycling with crutches is terrible. But I am off “high-impact” foot activity for 6 weeks. Looks like it’s all about yoga and/or swimming for the next month and a half.
It also means I’ve got some open race entries up for grabs. Anyone want to run the Partners in the Park on October 25th (in York, PA) or the Spirit of Pittsburgh half marathon on November 1st? Upside: free. Downside: they’ll think you’re me.
2009-10-14 / 13:00 / dave
We all know Windows is a ghetto (at least for developers); I just googled for confirmation. Unfortunately I’m stuck there because of work and have been using cygwin to make things easier.
Unfortunately I’m beginning to think cygwin is a ghetto too. You can compile some source, but there are enough differences to be annoying. Specifically you can’t compile libraries to link against other windows apps (like for Python & Haskell libraries) and the path wrangling & soft links break in any native app. It’s only nice if you don’t leave it’s confines.
So maybe a better analogy would be that cygwin is like having a really nice loft in a bad neighborhood.
In contrast MinGW seems more interested in making Windows habitable. Maybe it’s like bike paths & community gardens?
Anyone have any experience with MinGW? I think all I really need is the GCC tools, ssh and bash.
PS: and yes I’ve thought about VMware, etc. But I have to release under Windows anyway, so there’s no point having to maintain two environments. I do have an Ubuntu laptop but I never end up using it.
2009-10-13 / 12:30 / dave
…in which all I want to do is read and write some goddamn ID3 tags.
I’ve said I want to learn Haskell but I’ve also talked about the pains of learning new programming environments (and given an example from Forth). So when I wanted to rename some mp3 files based on ID3 tags I thought “that’s a great excuse to use Haskell! What could possibly go wrong?” So I simply…
cabal install taglib. FAIL: requires taglib_c C libraryc:\cygwin\usr\local\cabal install --verbose=3 taglib to find out it’s failing calling pkg-configconfigurecabal install idiii. FAIL: error installing encoding-0.6.2 dependencyPKG_CONFIG_PATH='c:\cygwin\usr\local\lib\pkgconfig' to environmentcabal install taglib. FAIL: the .pc files for taglib contain cygwin style paths--PREFIX=c:/cygwin/usr/local. Success: installed in same directory but with Windows style paths in the .pc filescabal install taglib. Success!.pc filescabal install --verbose=3 --reinstall taglibbytestring. WTF?ghci. FAIL: can’t find DLLSo I’ve got no ID3 library a broken GHC installation. Next stop: mailing list. But first…
I wish I could say it was sooo much easier in Python, because that would mean I was done. Instead…
pip install -v PyID3. FAIL: can’t resolve URL’spip install id3reader. Success!A few dozen lines of code and a few Unicode issues later and I am automatically renaming files based on ID3 tag.
Unfortunately the next step is automatically tagging files based on filename and id3reader doesn’t write tags. This is why people write their own libraries.
Nothing really. I just wanted to complain. Also people often ask me what it’s like to be a programmer. Sometimes, this is it. My advice: stay in business school.
2009-10-10 / 14:35 / dave
Via Open Congress:
I can’t second guess the Nobel, but I will say this: we never expect a conservative Republican to be chosen. For instance, when Ronald Reagan helped to bring about the end of the Cold War and he was ignored by the Nobel Committee. I mean, to me, we’re just used to having the Nobel people picking Democrats or liberals to honor in this way.
Sen. Orrin Hatch [R, UT]
2009-10-10 / 12:46 / dave
I planned on doing a nice travel journal about my experience sailing the Delmarva loop with Captain Habib & crew, but instead I’m just going to dump a bunch of pictures and link to a youtube video.
Here’s a quick summary:
The summary: it was awesome. Everyone should do it.
Here’s some of my photos (the full set is on flickr):
Here’s an awesome video that Eric & Kat made about our whale encounter: Delmarva Whale [Youtube]
My best story comes from after I was back. I got off the greyhound in Pittsburgh at 3am. At 5am I woke up and thought I had fallen asleep on watch. I looked at the white wall and panicked thinking I couldn’t see around the jib sail. I stumbled down the steps to the “head” and only while peeing in a regular toilet did I realize I was not on a boat.
2009-10-09 / 12:10 / dave
In the run-up to the G-20 I was surprised at how many people I knew expressed completely leotarded opinions. They drastically over-simplified the issues: “Capitalism is poison!”, “Protesters should be shot!”, “Cops evil!”. At the time I felt like should write a blog post and set the record straight. It was going to both point out that global capitalism helped drag the world from the stagnation of feudalism as well as question the assumption that wealth disparity is always a problem. It was to remind people that constitutional rights are meant to protect unpopular opinions and that these rights are eroded quietly, relying on the complicity of a quiet populace. It was to reinforce that we are all flawed people with flawed opinions and that the principle of charity also applies IRL.
Instead I did nothing.
So now I present my views in three words:
Shit is complicated
That’s actually the edited version. The director’s cut is twice as long.
Shit is complicated.
And you’re dumb.
The G-20 itself is nicely summarized in this image (a Failblog’ed version of ccbarr’s photo)

If you actually want to learn more, you can check out some actual reporting:
I was reminded of the G-20 when I saw Mother Courage at Duquesne. Not bad, though in the age of movies I question a three hour play. It did make me run home and listen to one of my favorite “found in a used bin for $6″ CD’s: Let No One Deceive You: The Songs of Bertolt Brecht
Frankie Armstrong – Lullabies I, II, III-To My Countrymen-Lullaby IV
Dave Van Ronk – The Legend of the Dead Soldier
The arrangements are sparse, relying on the voices & Brecht’s lyrics.
Then I listened to all the Crass albums.
Crass – Yes Sir, I Will Track 7 (buy)
Crass – Shaved Women (buy)
The Yes Sir, I Will track is 20 minutes of abstract ranting, I think the entire B-side of the original record. Yes Sir is my favorite Crass album because of it’s insanity.
Shaved Women isn’t about war, but it is amazing: Eve Libertine’s wailing, the train samples, the “screaming babies” chant, the sparse main guitar… It’s hard to imagine that people’s heads didn’t explode in 1979, especially when you consider that Reality Asylum [Youtube] was the A-side.
And if you’re looking for something to read, I recommend Joe Sacco’s Palestine. The first 8/9th’s are amazing. The last chapter probably is too, I just haven’t read it yet.
2009-10-03 / 20:05 / dave
I listened to the new Kid Cudi album and thought of a term I’d heard describing Heartless [Youtube]: Emo Rap.
Kid Cudi – Soundtrack 2 My Life (buy)
That reminded me of the white emo rap from my formative hip-hop years, namely Anticon. I haven’t listened to anything on the label since The Makeshift Patriot EP in 2003, but Music for the Advancement of Hip-Hop was pretty bananas 10 years ago.
Slug – Nothing But Sunshine (buy on Anticon comp or on the Lucy Ford EPs)
Sole – Suicide Song (buy)
As a special bonus here’s non-emo Slug wrecking things:
PS: if you’re fast you can still make it to see WHY? at the William Pitt Union.